Thursday

Thursday Aug 30.  Harold must have been home Wednesday but I don't remember him being there except for the night.  We slept in moms bed in her living room.  About 6:00 I heard her stirring.  I ran in to check and she was trying to get up to go to the bathroom..  I reminded her she just needed to get on the commode and it was really hard, she was too weak but we managed to get her on and back in the bed.   That was rough on mom but a relief on me.  She was in and out all day.   I was really upset that morning,  she was anxious and hurting and by this time I thought I better text Dan and ask them to come.  They said he couldn't come right away but they would try to come by next morning.  He called me a little later and said he squared his work away and was on his way.  We then called the other two boys and told them Dan was coming, Mike and Kathy got ready and were on their way shortly after that, Dave and Jan got there about 11:00
 The nurse came in  about 9am and got the catheter put in.  Mom was in so much discomfort that I had begun to give her morphine every 4-6 hours, which kept her asleep  most of the time. 

Wednesday

By today mom was getting so weak that it was getting difficult to get her to the commode.  I was afraid she would fall and I wouldn't be able to get her up again. I called the Hospice office and asked them to bring a catheter for Thursday morning when they came.  I didn't get any pictures this day.  I spent all of my time in the chair next to mom, just wanting to be close to her and hold her hand and watch her sleep.   I guess I must have been looking at pictures because I took a screen shot of this one of mom and I at the cabin in June.  Its the only picture in my phone on the 29th.  By this time she had stopped drinking anything.  I couldn't get her to even take a sip. 

Tuesday Aug 28

Tueday morning Amy, moms FAVORITE hospice nurse told all the other nurses that she was coming out even tho it wasn't her day to see mom.  But she wanted to bring mom a vase with flowers for her Birthday.  I love Amy!  She was so sweet and compassionate with mom.  She just loved mom!  She also brought out a commode for mom, its just too hard to get her to the bathroom and back.  I just don't want her to go down on me and me not be able to get her back up.
Kylla called and asked to come see mom,  I told her she was extremely weak and that she wouldn't be up for a long visit but that she was welcome to come.  Later that evening Jes and the girls came back out to spend a little Birthday time with Grandma.  Jes took the pictures of mom and I.
It is so hard to see her failing so quickly!

Blessed Hands

More on Monday

When Amy, moms favorite Hospice nurse got here on Monday morning, I was in tears.  Mom had had a horrible weekend.  Lots of pain, lots of morphine and Lorazepam for anxiety.  And just so weak.  We decided together it was time to bring in a hospital bed.  She went in to check on mom and then ordered the bed for later that day.  Kalen and Curtis came to help me move moms bed into her living room.  I had been sleeping on the couch or on moms bed when she spent the night in her chair.  It was getting hard for her to breath when she laid flat so she spent a lot of time sleeping in her chair.  The Hospice Store delivered the bed and we got her all situated in it and made her comfy!  I wanted to get my lawn mowed that morning.  Harold called from Afton to check on us and I mentioned that I wanted to mow and that I didn't want to leave mom alone and he suggested I call Curtis to come sit with her while I got out of the house and mowed the lawn so I called and he came  right out and I am so glad he got to have that time with his grandma, just one on one time.
  Curtis had to go to work so we celebrated moms birthday with Angel Food cake that night, her favorite, before he left.  She took just a couple of tiny bites and that was the last thing she ate.

Jes and the girls came out and we all sang happy birthday to her.  

Monday Aug 27

Sandy called and asked if she could come by and see mom for a minute.  She brought a sweet card that told mom how much she loved mom for being her adopted mom since Velma passed away.  Mom was so tired, she could hardly keep her eyes open.  Mom loves Richard and Sandy!

Tired Heart, Tired Momma

My  precious momma is so tired now she sleeps all the time.  I know how bad she wants to be with dad, I have feelings of selfishness knowing this but wanting her to stay with me.   Its been a hard year for her.  

4 trips to the hospital, 5 thoracentesis, multiple heart episodes when morphine has been administered.  She is just worn out.   OH how I love this little woman!!!!!
This was her last Sunday on earth.  We stayed home together and watched BYU and during a devotional this quote was shown.  I loved it.
After church Brother Anderson and Brother Bateman came to the house with the Sacrament.  It was so precious that mom and I got to share her last Sacrament in her room together.  She loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ with every fiber of her being!

Dave's grandkids

Daves grandkids got to come see Great Grandma!  They are adoreable!  Mom loved having them come,